One day at a time.

Sometimes all you can do is just keep going.

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Grams was a strong, vibrant and energetic woman most of her life She’d always been active whether it was taking care of her family, working, volunteering. She read to the little kids at the elementary school library and she worked the voting precinct for nearly 30 years, retiring just after she turned 96. Grams would tell me there were days she was so tired she didn’t want to get out of bed, but she did it anyway because she knew what would happen. She knew if she didn’t get out of bed every morning, she would die in it. And there was no way in hell she was going to let that happen.

So every morning, including the morning of June 15, 2015, as tired as she was and as much as the arthritis hurt, she got out of that bed. Once again, she’d been given another day… at least for a few hours anyway, before it was decided for her that she had had lived her life and it was finally time for her to rest. And so on that day, June 15th, she did just that. She rested.

Grams was always thankful that as she aged, while her body slowed down, her mind did not. Her sister Jeanine, whom we affectionately called “Auntie Nina” was six years younger and a firecracker in her 90s too. Though they were both always tough and strong, she always said Grams got the “good genes”. Grams credited her Italian father and Sicilian mother for that. She had a little high cholesterol that she took meds for and a little arthritis which was eased by a few Aleve every day. She swore by vitamins especially Gingko Biloba and never missed a day taking them. Also, reading and doing crossword puzzles kept her mind sharp.

The older she got, the more she would say waking up every day was a gift. She knew and she accepted that one day she wouldn’t wake up. She was a woman who knew how to live and I’m not talking about living in the material sense, she just knew how to appreciate life. Grams made the best of every single day. She loved working, volunteering, helping people, spending time with her family and friends, going to the mall, social activities–just getting out of the house to do things, even if it was just to go to the store—which she would do just about every day even if it was for the smallest thing like a loaf of bread. Mom would say, “Ma, what could you possibly need at the store again??” and the truth was most of the time, she really didn’t need anything, she just wanted to get out. And hen she was out, she always took time to talk to people–at the store, bank, post office, the school, doctor’s office, gas station, etc.

While most would think death at the age of 98 is not exactly unexpected, for Grams it was. The day after she died and we’d told everyone, they were shocked because they’d just seen her — at the gas station, the post office, the grocery store, or the bank and she appeared as vibrant and energetic as ever. Now while she appeared that way, I know that she wasn’t feeling it as she once had. I don’t know how she hid how tired she’d become, but she did, and she did it well. She believed in mind over matter and so I believe she willed herself to feel good. The woman had an incredible will and determination. And that kept her going.

Grams truly believed she was here for a reason. She would always say, “I’m here as long as I’m needed.” And so, she took it one day at a time, thankful for every morning that she woke, and trying to make the best of it.

I learned a thousand and one lessons from Grams and one of the most important is that I am here for a reason and that no matter what, I should never give up. And so when life has been hard and I felt I had no purpose and all hope seemed lost, there was that tiny spark that made me believe again, and reminded me … take a deep breath, take it one day at a time and never give up.