(I’ve been going through my drafts and found this bit from 2013)
My Grams is ninety-six years old, five foot nothing, with jet black hair. She’s an incredible woman: kind, caring, nurturing, with a genuine warm personality and a huge heart.
And… she’s always right.
She always gets the last word.
She always knows “the reason why”.
And the stuff she comes up with! It’s pure gold.
When Grams asked me to be her personal representative and take care of her will, power-of-attorney, and medical proxy, I was more than happy to do that. She just wanted to make sure that someday when she goes, mom and Aunt JoAnn wouldn’t have to worry about dealing with it while grieving their loss. That was Grams, always staying one step ahead. So, at that time, we discussed what she wanted me to do, I filed it for future reference, and that was the end of it.
Or so I thought.
With Grams, nothing is that simple. At least once a week she reminds me of what I’m supposed to do when she goes. (Otherwise she won’t go, right?)
And so there I was preparing for my first vacation in years. As I was packing, Grams and Mom were having a conversation.
Grams: “Naomi, I want you to have my power of attorney, just in case I drop dead while Jessie is on her vacation.”
Grams: “I need to be prepared.”
Mom: “For what? Are you going somewhere?”
Grams: “Well, I wasn’t planning on it, but these things happen.”
Mom: “Ma, nothing’s going to happen.”
Grams: “Can you guarantee that?”
Mom: “Well, no.”
Grams: “You see…”
A few hours later came the phone call…
Mom: “Jessica your grandmother is at it again.”
Me: “Oh God, what now?”
Mom: “She wants me to be her power of attorney in case she dies while you’re on vacation.”
Me: “She’s dying?”
Mom: “No, it’s just in case.”
Me: “Who does this?”
Mom: “She’s your grandmother.”
Me: “She’s your mother. And you know what? She really would die while I’m on vacation just to prove she was right, wouldn’t she?”
Me: “What the hell’s this thinking you’re going to die while I’m in New York?”
Grams: “Watch your language! We just need to have a plan in place in case something happens.”
Me: “You’re going to just keel over while I’m on vacation? Seriously Grams, you’re 96! All these years and you would pick now to do it?”
Grams: “I’m not saying it will happen, but if it does, I’d like to be prepared. I don’t want any problems.”
Me: “Well, if you’re dead, I don’t think you would be the one with the problem. Besides, if something happens while I’m gone, no worries… mom’s got that huge standup freezer.”
And that is how it all began. All I wanted to do was just to plan my vacation!